From the Table is a series of conversational articles which have been birthed from treatments with Jacquie McIntyre- showcasing some interesting concepts and issues that people face in their journey to body-mind health and deep happiness. (all names have been changed)
GRAB A CUPPA!
How many?
If you could reflect back on your life how many times do you think you've engaged in conversation with someone, only to think later...,"That achieved nothing!" So many clients over the years have told me about the conversations they've had with people where all it achieved was conflict, frustration, anger and confusion. And in a lot of cases it even happens again and again about the same or similar things with the same person. Have you remembered any yet?
Particularly ones where you have a point of view and the other person seems not to understand it.
What comes up time and time again in clients and group sessions is this.
During childhood and evolving into young adulthood you can develop strong desires of the following;
* To be heard
* To be understood
* To be accepted
* To be liked
* To be right
* To be loved
* To be envied
* To be seen
* To be acknowledged
* To be celebrated
* To be adored
And these desires become a part of your personality system, behaviours and give rise to the things that you trigger towards.
There are two critical periods of your life where your brain is mapping itself and the experience you have during this time firmly ingrains your deepest core beliefs about yourself, others and the world around you.
The ages are 0-7 and from early puberty up to 17-18 years. What happens here matters....A LOT.
What your going to find during your life is many people who are on the same "wavelength" as you. You will be able to have easy, constructive and joy filled conversations. YA for those!
Your also no doubt going to meet people and have people in your life who are not on the same wavelength as you.
It could be that you and they just do not meet balanced in the middle at all.
It could be that you get along OK but don't share the same outlooks on different things.
What many people don't realise is that some people do not have the emotional or psychological capabilities to be able to comprehend your point of view. They don't even have the abilities to grasp different perspectives.
So if that's the case, then why do you still do it?
It's like jamming your finger in the door over and over again. You know what it's going to feel like (suckful), you know what the outcome is going to be but you go back in and try to have the same conversation again with them in the hope that they will see your point of view.
OR you will have the same conversation over and over but with different people.
Most likely you do this because you have had significant stressful, life changing or traumatic events that have happened to you/ around you, during those age periods. At those periods when your meant to be feeling safe, heard, seen, understood, grounded, loved etc....many of you were not. And that means your still seeking that, even in these conversations.
Those things that caused this are unresolved.
We know this because you still do it, even in the face of someone not being on the same wavelength as you, not having the emotional capacity or psychological ability to understand your point of view or share different perspectives...you push on and have the conversation.
The wanting
* To be heard
* To be understood
* To be accepted
* To be liked
* To be right
* To be loved
* To be envied
* To be seen
* To be acknowledged
* To be celebrated
* To be adored
Will subconsciously trigger at the beginning of that conversation...you will have this need for them to hear you, understand you. If they do, then it means that maybe your liked...accepted...loved?
So my friend
Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different opinions? Because if not, there's absolutely no point in your doing that.
And recognising what drives you to do those conversations will FREE you to not have to do them anymore!
Jacquie xx
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About Jacquie...
Knowledge sharer, wisdom bringer, light shiner and fierce supporter of you and your journey.
Jacquie advocates for people's potential, and the return journey to Self- she shares her knowledge in all things healthcare, consciousness and body psychology whilst inspiring people to be the most exceptional version of themselves that they can possibly be.
Through private treatment sessions, seminars, workshops based in integrated consciousness healthcare and founder of the My Incredible Orbit community that gets you the powerful results you so deeply desire.