Day three in our review
It's the day after Boxing Day for me, and that means I'm here to share what I learnt from this past year.
I hope you all had a beautiful few days. I'm really in rest mode right now, and just feeling my way into these few days off.
Over the next few days I have more great ideas and questions for you that hopefully sparks some happiness and curiosity. Tomorrow I'll share ideas on how to review your year, and plan for 2020.
So let's get started...
2019 for me was a year that gave me lots of laughter, smiles, pleasure and pain.
We all have that every year I think, the flux of experiences and feelings.
I had lots of personal pain about connection, friendships, family, love and what that really means. LOVE
Many years ago when my marriage was imploading I was seeing a holistic counsellor. She really had great vision, was very neutral and rock solid in who she was.
She said to me "Jacquie what do you want?"
"I want to learn how to love unconditionally" I said.
Lesson one:
Be careful/clear what you ask for...What you declare that you want, will keep on showing up for you until you have learnt it. It will bring to you exactly who and what you need in order to learn that lesson.
I work with people all the time who have asked for things that they really don't want but are getting without realising it's because they asked for it.
Others have asked for something but they are unclear exactly what that looks like. It's important to be clear about what it is that you want.
At that time, I was interested in trying to figure out how I love him (my then husband) unconditionally. I was in fix it mode and trying to be the saviour for him and for us.
He had been badly injured and his recovery was tough, his own heart essence and mind became not well.
I could see and feel within me, the huge spiral happening....
I could also intuitively feel the coming explosion that was to be the end of our marriage and I was scared out of my mind. Treading water in desperation and fear, trying to prevent the implosion and explosion from happening.
I thought and said to my counselor...."what if I could just see him for who he is, this amazing human being who is perfect the way he is. What if I could just love him unconditionally, then I wouldn't feel the need to fix him, or help him work out his own inner issues, or change anything"
ALL WOULD BE RIGHT in my world if I could just accept who he was now.
Wouldn't it?
Well....
Lesson two:
Unconditional LOVE is an inside job first. There is absolutely no changing that. You can't learn to love someone else 100% unconditionally, without first taking the journey to love yourself unconditionally.
Lesson three:
This year I learnt with absolute clarity...that my purpose here in this lifetime is:-
~ To learn to love myself unconditionally.
~ To attract those who can help me to love myself more unconditionally. (And many times that's doesn't look like roses and sunshine!)
~ To lead others into Self Love.
Learning how to love themself, the world around them, things that have happened to them and how to love their life.
So many people don't love life right now, they love the concept of what life will look like if only.....this or that would happen. Which only leads to many states of misery.
~ Hold a space open for a person to come in and journey through all aspects of themself.
~ Provide the tools, resources and systems that will easily slide them into healing, recovering and knowing Self Love...and as they do that, we do it together.
That actually happened without me realising it.
I birthed the My Incredible Orbit community some 4 years ago.
And at the time I thought it was to open a space for people to come and receive healing and huge personal growth.
But now I see that it's also to take a person into a place of loving themselves so unconditionally that all the things that hurt and pain-ed them simply fall away.
It dissolves into a sea of nothingness. And leaves an expanse of Love.
Lesson four:
In order for one to love themselves and others unconditionally, they must understand and develop healthy boundaries. You will never love yourself wholly without also knowing what your boundaries are, how to communicate them, and what the consequences are if the boundaries are broken.
I've just completed and taught a wonderful course in Healthy Boundaries. It will be available online soon.
What eventually happened is I did learn to love him for who and how he was. And that also allowed me to set him and myself free. I didn't have any need to change him, or fix him. I simply let him go so that he didn't need to fulfill my expectations of him any longer. I let the relationship go so that he could be with his better match whenever that showed up for him.
He had mirrored my self loathing for so many years...until I didn't need to loath self any longer. The moment I shifted my awareness into Self Love, we became uncompatible.
Lesson five:
Once you start loving yourself more, you start expecting better for yourself.
Lesson six:
This return journey to self is likely to take you your whole life. Don't be hard on yourself because you think you "should be more like her", or farther along than where you feel you are.
Your exactly and perfectly where you're meant to be. And that will absolutely grow and change. That happens in tiny increments each day. It's sometimes so subtle that you don't see it. And other times it's a big experience that helps you to realise how far you have come in your Love Journey to Yourself.
My hope for you in 2020 is that you learn what your healthy boundaries are. You get comfortable talking and communicating them...that the self love you have in place is what enables you to enforce your consequences in a loving way when those boundaries are tested or broken by others.
In other words, my hope for you is that your review for 2019 and journey into 2020 is one of learning LOVE of SELF.
Love,
Jacquie xx
Let's chat again tomorrow, when I take you through some ideas for reviewing the year you have just experienced and planning the coming year ahead.
About Jacquie...
Knowledge sharer, wisdom bringer, light shiner and fierce supporter of you and your journey.
Jacquie advocates for people's potential, and the return journey to Self- she shares her knowledge in all things healthcare, consciousness and body psychology whilst inspiring people to be the most exceptional version of themselves that they can possibly be.
Through private treatment sessions, seminars, workshops based in integrated consciousness healthcare and founder of the My Incredible Orbit community that gets you the powerful results you so deeply desire.
Consciousness based healthcare, where the best version of you and your journey towards a sensational life awaits you. About Jacquie...